Da'ud Bob's Movie Review
for
  April 2026


While I have pretty much retired from writing new movie reviews, that doesn't mean that I have retired from watching new (or old, for that matter) movies of the genre or time period that make them appropriate "Da'ud Bob movies." If you have not yet seen Hamnet, the recent movie about the death of Shakespeare's only son and the writing and production of the play Hamlet, mostly from his wife's point of view, it is now available on Blu-Ray and DVD. History it ain't (the timeline is wrong, among many other things), but it is well worth the watching! I have my own copy on my "Shakespeare Shelf" here at home which I hope to inflict it on share with some of my friends in the near future.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled movie review, and here's one first published in April 2023. Practically brand new! Only slightly used.  Enjoy!



Well, clearly I was looking for something different to review. I mean, I had recently reviewed a number of Shakespeare productions, including not one, not two, but three different Hamlets and yet another Macbeth. And I still had another Hamlet, another Macbeth, and a Romeo and Juliet sitting on the shelf waiting for me to pop them into the DVD player. Is it possible to overdose on Shakespeare? Well, apparently it is, because I wanted something else. Unfortunately, both for me and for you, there are other things out there for me to review for you. Including a number of movies and television series that Anna Sue has found and saved for me on her Netflix account. And I tried. I really did. I tried to pick the most innocuous series on the list. But “most innocuous” is not the same as actually “innocuous”. And the trigger warnings for this show weren’t helping; I mean, it’s not especially hopeful (at least to me, and especially regarding any kind of real historicity) when they read: “Violent, Gritty, Fantasy TV, Teen, Action Drama”. So much for “most innocuous”. So my expectations weren’t all that high to begin with, and they weren’t raised any by actually watching this show. And so it is that this month, Da’ud Bob reviews for you Episode 1 (of 10) of the Netflix 2020 production of the teen/fantasy/action drama Cursed.
                       
Starring Katherine Langford as Nimuë, Devon Terrell as Arthur (yes, that Arthur), Gustaf Skarsgård as Merlin (yes, that Merlin), Daniel Sharman as The Weeping Monk, Sebastian Armesto as King Uther Pendragon (yes, that Uther Pendragon), Lily Newmark as Pym, Shalom Brune-Franklin as Igraine (yup, you guessed it!), Peter Mullan as Father Carden, Emily Coates as Iris, Billy Jenkins as Squirrel, and Matt Stokoe as Gawain (uh-huh), about the only things in this show that actually relate to all, or any, of the Arthurian legends besides the sword of power (we aren’t told it’s name, but we know that it’s Excalibur), are the names of the characters. The story lines, the motivations, even the relationships, are all made out of whole cloth. Well, it is, after all, based on the “Teen & Young Adult” book written by Thomas Wheeler and illustrated by Frank Miller. The synopsis, outlined for us by Netflix, is: “Armed with mysterious powers and a legendary sword, young rebel Nimuë joins forces with charming mercenary Arthur on a mission to save her people.”

Good points: It’s only ten episodes long. Real chain mail. The thatched huts.

Bad points: RenFaire costuming. Calling the king “Your Majesty”. (This is not set in Tudor times, when the King went from being “Your Grace” to “Your Majesty”.) Depicting Merlin as a drunkard. The lack of color in clothing and armor. Some of the heraldry. Because of their names, you keep expecting people to act like they do in the Arthurian tales. They don’t. It would have been better just to give them entirely different names. That way, perhaps, our expectations would stop getting in the way of the story.

Zero breasts. Four gallons of blood. (Well, it did say “violent”.) 17 dead bodies. Arrow fu. Magic fu. Dagger fu. Ax fu. Sword fu. Knife fu. Fire fu. Lightning fu. Spear fu. Carts roll. Waves roll. Gratuitous stone trilithon used as a gateway into a village. Gratuitous CGI dragonfly. Gratuitous fairy. Gratuitous dead magpies. Gratuitous crucifixions. Gratuitous wolves. Gratuitous Moors. Gratuitous eclipse. Gratuitous epileptic fit, with hallucinations. Gratuitous two-faced baby. An 82 on the Vomit Meter. 1½ stars. Da’ud Bob says, “Well, it’s not Shakespeare, but that’s not what I was looking for here anyway. But it’s also not an Arthurian story, which is kind of what you expect to see given the names of many of the characters. I think Netflix told us best what it really is: “Violent, Gritty, Fantasy TV, Teen, Action Drama”. Check it out!”



Upcoming movies and miniseries to watch for!


A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Now streaming, with a second season already lined up for a 2027 release		 Set a century before the events of Game of Thrones, two unlikely heroes wander through Westeros ... a young, naïve but courageous knight, Ser Duncan the Tall, and his diminutive squire, Egg. Set in an age when the Targaryen line still holds the Iron Throne, and the memory of the last dragon has not yet passed from living memory, great destinies, powerful foes, and dangerous exploits all await these improbable and incomparable friends. A(nother) Game of Thrones prequel. Streaming on Max.
Hamlet
April 10, 2026		 Shakespeare's 'Hamlet', set in modern London. Starring Riz Ahmed, Morfydd Clark, and Joe Alwyn. The setting may be modern London, but the words are Shakespeare's text.
The Odyssey
July 17, 2026		 A new film version of the epic poem by Homer. Directed by Christopher Nolan, and starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, with Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya, Lupita Nyong’o, Charlize Theron, John Leguizamo, and more. Quite the impressive cast! I hope the script will let their talents shine. The plot is exactly what you'd expect: "After the Trojan War, Odysseus faces a dangerous voyage back to Ithaca, meeting creatures like the Cyclops Polyphemus, Sirens, and Circe along the way."
The King, the Swordsman, and the Sorceress
Said to be released December 30, 2025, but IMDb says it's still in "pre-production".		 Starring Donna Hamblin, Deborah Dutch, Jeffrey Schneider (who also directs), and Nick Dent, still no plot synopsis has been released. But given the title, surely it must be a Da'ud Bob kind of movie, yes? Well, maybe. AI seems to think it is a remake of 1982's The Sword and the Sorcerer, a movie which featured, as I said in my review of it, "the amazing new [three-bladed] Ronco Rocket Sword.  'It slices!  It dices!  It makes mincemeat of your enemies in minutes!')". If AI is right, we are all in serious trouble.
Highlander
2026? No release date announced yet. As of this writing, it is still "in production".		 Starring Henry Cavill, Russell, Crowe, and Karen Gillan, with Dave Bautista as the Kurgan. This is a remake of the 1986 original starring Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery that no one I know of is asking for. "An immortal Scottish swordsman faces off with other immortal warriors in order to obtain a coveted ability." Director Chad Stahelski confirmed the movie will be using Queen's soundtrack from the original, but "Probably in a different way than you think, but hardcore yes." [Da'ud Bob says, "How about 'hardcore no'?"]


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