Da'ud Bob's Movie Review
for
March 2014

Yes, I know, it's taken me long enough to get around to watching, and reviewing, this month's movie. And I don't really have a very good excuse. I mean, sure, for all my talk about sitting down in by La-Z-Bubba recliner, I really don't have a lot of "spare" time and can't watch all the movies that I would like to. But what kind of excuse is that? I mean, I've made time before for other movies, and even gone to see some of them in the theaters, even when they were playing in limited release which meant that I had to drive a lot further to get to them. As a comparatively recent example, Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing springs almost immediately to mind. So, sure, I'm busy, but apparently not too busy. So what's my excuse for not catching this month's movie in the theaters? Honestly, I don't have one. I just didn't get around to catching it on the big screen. Which meant that I had to wait until it showed up on "View on Demand" on the big screen in my living room when it was finally available there. And now it was. And I did. And thus it is that this month, Da'ud Bob reviews for you the latest addition to the Walt Disney "Pantheon of Princesses," in Brave.

A Pixar animated film, starring the voices of Kelly Macdonald as Merida, Billy Connolly as King Fergus, Emma Thompson as Queen Elinor, Julie Walters as the Witch, Robbie Coltrane as Lord Dingwall, Kevin McKidd as both Lord McGuffin and his son Young McGuffin, and Craig Ferguson as Lord Macintosh, this is the story of a Scottish (as if you couldn't tell just from the names of the characters and the actors) princess determined to make her own path in life instead of the one chosen for her by her position, who makes a reckless choice which unleashes unintended danger and forces her to rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse. The movie is rated PG for "AC", or "adult content," but unless that includes the few instances of somewhat rude humor, I'm not at all sure what "adult content" they're talking about. Sure, a couple of the fight scenes were a little scary, but that's violence, not adult. So I don't know why it has that rating.

Good points: The songs. (Of course, it is a Disney movie!) The Lewis chessmen. (If you don't already know about these, you should look them up on-line.) The soundtrack (music by Patrick Doyle). The knotwork snowflakes in the early part of the closing credits. The CGI, especially in the rendering of Merida's hair and the horses' manes. Wow!

Bad points: Three drones on the bagpipes. (The addition of a third drone to Scottish war pipes was much later than the time period in which this movie is supposed to be set.) Sewing on horseback at a full gallop. Modern morality and ethics, rather than the medieval morality and ethics of the movie's time.

Zero breasts. (I did mention that this was a Disney movie, didn't I?) Zero blood. No bodies on screen. Arrow fu. Spear fu. Sword fu. Mace fu. Haggis fu. (No, really!) Transformation fu. Salmon fu. Standing stone fu. Merida rolls. Beer rolls. Gratuitous gender stereotyping ("She's a lady" and "Ladies don't do such things"). Gratuitous slo-mo. Gratuitous woad. Gratuitous will o' the wisps. (Yes, I know they are a plot device. They're still gratuitous.) Gratuitous rope of kilts. Gratuitous trilithon (two standing stones capped by a third one; you know, like at Stonehenge, in England). Academy Award nominations to Julie Walters as the Witch for "I'm not a witch; too many unsatisfied customers," and to Kelly Macdonald as Merida for "Our fate lives within us; you only have to be brave enough to see it." A mere 37 on the Vomit Meter. 3½ stars. Da'ud Bob says "Check it out!"

Upcoming movies and miniseries to watch for!

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