Da'ud Bob's Movie Review
I really ought to know better than to leave Anna Sue alone at home. Not because we have HD TV there. Not because we've got about a gazillion channels available to watch at all hours of the day. Nope, not because of any of that. The reason is because she has her own Netflix account. I know, that doesn't normally sound so dangerous, does it? But when she's home alone, she'll occasionally go looking to see what offerings Netflix may have, and she will pretty regularly run across some film or another that, because it falls into the right pre-1600 A.D. time frame, she'll queue up so that I can review it. Because, as she says, "You have to." Well, let me tell you, any time Anna Sue says I "have to" review something, I know right off the bat that it's not going to be good. And this month's offering - something that she found and saved on Netflix for me to review - is no exception. But remembering our motto, "We watch 'em so you don't have to," I went ahead and sat myself down in my big La-Z-Bubba recliner, grabbed my notepad, and we pushed "Play." All because Anna Sue says I "have to." Because reasons. So there you have it, as this month Da'ud Bob reviews for you Butterfly Sword.
Or, as it may be better known, Butterfly and Sword. (It seems to go by both titles here in the States.) It's original title is San lau sing woo dip gim, which probably means something else entirely. In any case, it's a 1993 remake of the 1976 Killer Clans, starring action star Michelle Yeoh as Lady Ko, Tony Leung as Meng Sing-Wan, Joey Wang as Butterfly, Elvis Tsui as Lord Suen Yuk Pa, Donnie Yen as Yip Cheung, Chung-Hua Tou as Liu Heung-Chuen, Jimmy Lin as Prince Cha, Chuan-Chen Yeh as Ho Ching, and Kuo-Chu Chang as the Eunuch Tsao, neither of two synopses that I found come close to describing what this movie is about. "Eunuchs are attempting to overthrow the Ming Dynasty, and sibling assassins Sister Ko and Brother Sing must infiltrate the group to stop them." "Dynamo Michelle Yeoh stars as a loyalist who attempts to keep the King' empire from being overthrown by a revolutionary group." It's really hard to tell who is trying to overthrow whom, which side anyone is really one, and where in the narrative any particular bit of action is happening, as the film will periodically jump back with no warning to when many of the primary characters were children. Mostly though, it's an action movie, with lots of fighting with a lot of different weapons, all thrown together with a kind of an odd love triangle (or as one commenter put it, a "love parallelogram").
Instead of "Good Points" (because, really, they were pretty scarce in this movie, although some of the fight choreography was pretty decent), we've got some "Weird Points:" Some fighters explode when cut by a sword. Beheading by scarf.
Bad points: The flow of the story line is very disjointed, making it difficult to follow. The period bra and underwear advertisement. Some of the camera angles during the fight scenes seemed to be almost random, and therefore confusing.
Zero breasts. Five gallons of blood. 82 dead bodies. Flying star fu. Scarf fu. Kung fu. Dung fu. Rake fu. Polearm fu. Bow (with a sword used as an arrow) fu. Chain fu. Umbrella fu. Fire fu. Bamboo spear fu. Freddy Krueger knife-finger fu. Column fu. Sleeping dust fu. Arrow fu. Floor fu. Ball fu. Assassins roll. Heads roll. Arm rolls. Leg rolls. Stones roll. Gratuitous face ripping. Gratuitous wirework. Gratuitous list of what not to do while he's gone. Gratuitous gore. Viewers on Netflix gave this one three out of five stars. Viewers on IMdB gave it 6.2 out of ten stars. Da'ud Bob says, "Their standards must be a lot lower than mine. A whopping 93 on the Vomit Meter. One star. Check it out!"
Upcoming movies and miniseries to watch for!
|October 2, 2015 in the UK; no release date for the US yet.||Macbeth. Yet another film of "the Scottish play," this time starring Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Paddy Considine, Sean Harris, and David Thewlis. Macbeth, a duke of Scotland, receives a prophecy from a trio of witches that one day he will become King of Scotland. Consumed by ambition and spurred to action by his wife, Macbeth murders his king and takes the throne for himself. Filmed in Scotland.|
|February 26, 2016||Ben Hur. A falsely accused nobleman survives years of slavery to take
vengeance on his best friend who betrayed him. Jack Huston, Nazanin
Bodiadi, David Walmsley. Based on the novel by Lew Wallace, a remake of
the 1959 classic that starred Charlton Heston in the title role.
No official website yet.
|April 8, 2016 in the U.S.||Gods of Egypt. The Egyptian god of darkness, Set (Gerard Butler), has taken
the throne of Egypt for himself. A young thief (Brenton Thwaites), with the
aid of the god Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) seeks to defeat him. Brenton
Thwaites, Gerard Butler, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Geoffrey Rush, Rufus
No official website yet.
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