Da'ud Bob's Movie Review
for
  March 2026


I've decided this month to stop reaching so far back in my own history to select a monthly movie review. So this month, I'm only going back five years, to a review first published in March 2021. That said, all of the positives, and negatives, in that review have held up. Enjoy!



So, what to do while I am busy waiting patiently for new movies to arrive, either on the big screen or on the smaller one I have in my homely double-wide? Well,” I think to myself, “there’s always Netflix.” And then the more rational portion of my brain, the last little part that hasn’t been damaged beyond all hope of ever getting better again by reviewing such movies as Deathstalker II and Robin Hood: The Ghost of Sherwood (or as I prefer to think of that last, Zombie Robin Hood), I think, “Yeah, but what’s in the Netflix queue right now is not pretty. Indeed, some of them look pretty ugly, with a capital UGH.” But publication deadlines call, and after all, our motto is “We watch ‘em so you don’t have to,” and so it is that I found myself sittin’ down in my big ol’ La-Z-Bubba recliner, Dr Pepper and M&Ms at hand, and pushing the “Play” button on Episode 1 of a two-season, 18 episode series that, as IMDb describes it, is “A look at the final days of the Knights Templar during the 14th century.” Well, we’ll see how well it takes that look, as this month, Da’ud Bob reviews for you the 2017-2019 series, Knightfall.

Starring Tom Cullen as Landry, Pádraic Delaney as Gawain, Simon Merrells as Tancrede, Julian Ovenden as William De Nogaret, Ed Stoppard as the French King Philip IV, Olivia Ross as his consort Queen Joan I of Navarre, Sam Hazeldine as Godfrey, Nasser Memarzia as Draper, Jim High as Ulric, and a whole host of others, including (in the third season) Mark (Luke Skywalker) Hamill as Talus, Netflix described this series as “A Pope, a king, and a holy order of knights form a volatile triangle. One secret revealed and things could go medieval.” Well, duh. It’s set in the Middle Ages. It’s going to “go medieval” no matter what happens. What does happen, over the course of the series, is to cram a fictionalized history of a year and a half into 18 episodes over a span of nearly three years, thus making the series about twice as long as the history it is portraying. (Well, if you ignore the introductory Fall of Acre fifteen years before the rest of the action takes place.)

Good points: Real mail. The helmets. Much of the armor. The floor in the King’s private chambers. As is often common in movies and series like this, a lot of the horses are very pretty. The yellow circle worn on their clothes to mark the wearers as Jews is historically accurate for France at this time.

Bad points: The CGI army of the Sultan (this would have been Baybars, the Mamluk sultan) at the siege of Acre is way too large. Queen Joan is a major figure in the series, which is set in 1306, but the real Queen Joan died the year before, in 1305. King Philip IV in this series won’t steal money from the Jews, and expels them from Paris for their own safety. The real Philip IV expelled the Jews from all of France on July 22, 1306, confiscated their property on August 23, and sent his own men to collect the repayment of loans made by the Jews to funnel that money to his own coffers. A number of references are made about “the Grail”, as when Landry at the siege of Acre says, “Today, we fight for the Grail.” While the Holy Grail had appeared in Arthurian literature as early as the late 12th Century just over a hundred years before the setting of this series, it was not associated with the Knights Templar until much, much later.

Zero breasts. Four gallons of blood. 29 dead bodies. Trebuchet fu. Lance fu. Sword fu. Crossbow fu. Axe fu. Dagger fu. Fighters roll. Waves roll. Gratuitous Templar breaking his vow of chastity. Gratuitous pillow talk. Gratuitous revenge killing. Gratuitous secret compartment in a sword pommel. An 83 on the Vomit Meter. Two stars. Da’ud Bob says, “History, it ain’t, and some of the characters appear to have gotten their world outlook from the 20th Century, so not all ‘things could go medieval’ in it. Check it out!”



Upcoming movies and miniseries to watch for!


A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: The Hedge Knight
Now streaming		 Set a century before the events of Game of Thrones, two unlikely heroes wander through Westeros ... a young, naïve but courageous knight, Ser Duncan the Tall, and his diminutive squire, Egg. Set in an age when the Targaryen line still holds the Iron Throne, and the memory of the last dragon has not yet passed from living memory, great destinies, powerful foes, and dangerous exploits all await these improbable and incomparable friends. A(nother) Game of Thrones prequel. Streaming on Max.
Othello
March 4, 2026		 Another remake of Shakespeare's classic tale of jealousy and betrayal. This one stars David Harewood in the title role, Toby Jones as Iago, and Caitlin FitzGerald as Desdemona. Directed by Tom Morris.
Hamlet
April 10, 2026		 Shakespeare's 'Hamlet', set in modern London. Starring Riz Ahmed, Morfydd Clark, and Joe Alwyn. The setting may be modern London, but the words are Shakespeare's text.
The Odyssey
July 17, 2026		 A new film version of the epic poem by Homer. Directed by Christopher Nolan, and starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, with Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya, Lupita Nyong’o, Charlize Theron, John Leguizamo, and more. Quite the impressive cast! I hope the script will let their talents shine. The plot is exactly what you'd expect: "After the Trojan War, Odysseus faces a dangerous voyage back to Ithaca, meeting creatures like the Cyclops Polyphemus, Sirens, and Circe along the way."
The King, the Swordsman, and the Sorceress
Said to be released December 30, 2025, but I can't find it anywhere, and IMDb says it's still in "pre-production".		 Starring Donna Hamblin, Deborah Dutch, Jeffrey Schneider (who also directs), and Nick Dent, still no plot synopsis has been released. But given the title, surely it must be a Da'ud Bob kind of movie, yes? Well, maybe. AI seems to think it is a remake of 1982's The Sword and the Sorcerer, a movie which featured, as I said in my review of it, "the amazing new [three-bladed] Ronco Rocket Sword.  'It slices!  It dices!  It makes mincemeat of your enemies in minutes!')". If AI is right, we are all in serious trouble.
Highlander
2026? No release date announced yet. As of this writing, it is still "in production".		 Starring Henry Cavill, Russell, Crowe, and Karen Gillan, with Dave Bautista as the Kurgan. This is a remake of the 1986 original starring Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery that no one I know of is asking for. "An immortal Scottish swordsman faces off with other immortal warriors in order to obtain a coveted ability." Director Chad Stahelski confirmed the movie will be using Queen's soundtrack from the original, but "Probably in a different way than you think, but hardcore yes." [Da'ud Bob says, "How about 'hardcore no'?"]


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