Da'ud Bob's Movie Review
Okay, I'll admit it: this one flew in pretty much beneath my radar, at least partly because I'm not a big video or on-line games player. As a consequence, it was into the theater almost before I saw it coming. But once it did impinge itself upon my consciousness, I thought that it was certainly well within the parameters of what we have come to call "Da'ud Bob Movies"TM and so, in the spirit of our motto, which says that "We watch 'em so you don't have to," I felt that I really ought to check this one out for you. So, bright and early on a June afternoon, my good friend and games player Robbie Bob and I headed off to the theater to see what it was all about for you. We got to the theater in plenty of time, got our over-priced snacks, and went and sat in the darkness for the movie to begin. And thus it is that this month, Da'ud Bob reviews for you the 2016 summer blockbuster movie based on the video game, to give it its full title, Warcraft: The Beginning.
Starring Travis Fimmel as Anduin Lothar, Paula Patton as Garona, Ben Foster as Medivh, Dominic Cooper as Llane Wrynn, Toby Kebbell as Durotan/Antonidas, Ben Schnetzer as Khadgar, Robert Kazinsky as Orgrim, Clancy Brown as Blackhand, Daniel Wu as Gul'dan, Ruth Negga as Lady Taria, Anna Galvin as Draka, Callam Keith Rennie as Moroes, and Burkely Duffield as Callan, the official website for the movie describes the plot as follows: "The peaceful realm of Azeroth stands on the brink of war as its civilization faces a fearsome race of invaders: orc warriors fleeing their dying home to colonize another. As a portal opens to connect the two worlds, one army faces destruction and the other faces extinction. From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people, and their home." It is, of course, really a lot more complex than all that - so much so that it's sometimes hard to follow who is on which side at any given time (especially since some of them switch sides at one point or another, sometimes for reasons which are hard to fathom).
Good points: The CGI is very good in this movie. The Guardian's library. The cloak brooch.
Bad points: The geiger counter tattoo. All of the interweaving plots and counterplots. The differing agendas are occasionally hard to parse, and some of them seemed to have no real point or to move the movie forward. It is, as I mentioned, sometimes hard to see who is on which side, and when. The ending of the movie leaves it wide open for a sequel. (This is the "first" movie; it should stand on its own. If it makes enough money that they want to make another, that's fine, but that potential future sequel shouldn't be so obvious a part of this one. If Star Wars had started with Episode VI, there never would have been another. Episode V stood on its own; Warcraft should have, too.)
Zero breasts. Two gallons of blood. 77 dead bodies. Sword fu. Axe fu. "Boomstick" fu. Golem fu. Hammer fu. Giant wolf fu. Fire fu. Scaffolding fu. Lightning fu. Heads roll. Horses roll. Golem rolls. Gratuitous tusks. Gratuitous horns. Gratuitous griffin. Gratuitous golem. Gratuitous life-sucking "fell." Gratuitous repeat of the Moses in the bulrushes story. Academy Award nominations to One Take Charlie as the Sheep for, apparently, getting all of his shots done in one take; and to one of the mages for his answer to Llane Wrynn's question when the big black cube opens a doorway into its interior: "Do I go in?" "I don't know; it's never happened before." An 87 on the Vomit Meter. 2½ stars. Da'ud Bob says, "I don't play the game, so my expectations were not that high. That said, I understand there are a lot of easter eggs scattered throughout the movie for those who do play the game. But you don't have to be a game player to be entertained by this flick. Check it out!"
Upcoming movies and miniseries to watch for!
|August 19, 2016 in the U.S.||Ben Hur. A falsely accused nobleman survives years of slavery to take vengeance on his best friend who betrayed him. Jack Huston, Nazanin Bodiadi, David Walmsley. Based on the novel by Lew Wallace, a remake of the 1959 classic that starred Charlton Heston in the title role.|
|March 24, 2017||King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. (Formerly titled: Knights of the
Roundtable: King Arthur) The young Arthur runs the back passages of
Londonium with his crew, not knowing his royal lineage until he grabs
Excalibur. Instantly confronted by the sword's influence, Arthur is forced to
make up his mind. He joins the rebellion and a shadowy young woman
named Guinevere, he must learn to understand the magic weapon, deal with
his demons and unite the people to defeat the dictator Vortigern, the man who
murdered his parents and stole his crown to become king. Charlie Hunnam,
Jude Law, Katie McGrath, Eric Bana, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey.
No official website yet.
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